Hang on - haven't we been here before?
Look. We know the normally quadrennial Copa America happened last year. You might still be mopping your fevered brow after the exhausting ordeal that was Chile's extra-time defeat of Argentina. But everyone's second-favourite continental football championship is back for a second consecutive summer because they're celebrating the competition's centenary - this special edition is called the Copa America Centenario.
Alexis Sanchez scored the winning penalty in last year's Copa America
How nice. So it's all in the name of tradition?
Well, yes, except for the glaring XXL-sized fact that it's being hosted by the USA. Sure, it'd take a loose definition of "South America" to include the States. But the Copa America always features guest stars - they even invited Japan last time - and holding it in the USA's backyard will make stacks and stacks of lovely cash.
Who cares? We get to watch Messi, Neymar and Luis Suárez!
Mostly. Messi is in line to spend his third consecutive summer dragging Argentina to the final before they inevitably lose and he is forced to accept another unwanted Player of the Tournament bauble. Suárez will miss Uruguay's first game, against Mexico - not because of a biting suspension, but because of a hamstring injury - but should be back to play Venezuela. As Brazilian football's kingpin, though, Neymar's main job this summer is leading his team to Olympic gold in Rio de Janeiro, so he'll be giving the Copa America a miss.
Whoever can fill his flashy boots?
How about another extravagantly-gifted young forward who's emerged from the Santos academy to the excitement of Europe's big guns?Gabriel Barbosa, 19, is as quick and skilful as his predecessor in the Santos number 10 shirt, and could be following him to Europe if he has a good tournament.
Look out for him - but don't rule out star turns from Colombia forward James Rodríguez, who has something to prove after a tricky season with Real Madrid, and, um, Jamaica's Wes Morgan, who has absolutely nothing to prove after captaining Leicester to Premier League glory.
When does it all kick off, and which teams are playing?
The tournament opens with USA vs Colombia on Saturday June 4 at 02.30 UK time. This is the start of the group stage, which encompasses Group A (USA, Colombia, Costa Rica, Paraguay), Group B (Brazil, Ecuador, Haiti and Peru), Group C (Mexico, Uruguay, Jamaica, Venezuela) and Group D (Argentina, Chile, Panama and Bolivia).
Two teams proceed from each group, and the knockout stage culminates in the final, which will take place on June 26 at New Jersey's MetLife stadium.
And is it on telly?
Yes - the tournament will be broadcast in the UK by Premier Sports, who can be found on Sky Channel 428 and Virgin Media Channel 551. It'll cost you, though: £11.99 per month on Sky, and £9.99 per month through Virgin. Oh, and none of the games finish before 1am. Don't say we didn't warn you.
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